Try doing carbon free detox for a week…how’s that working for you?

Day 1: Oh, the thrill of it all! I began my carbon-free week by tossing out my car, my fridge, and my smartphone because, well, they all have carbon in them, and we can’t have any of that pesky stuff around. I’m now living the dream in a primitive cave, using rocks and sticks to communicate.

Day 2: My morning routine has taken a surreal turn. No more hot showers or coffee, because, of course, they involve carbon. Instead, I’m now bathing in a freezing stream and chewing on raw coffee beans. Who needs comfort, anyway?

Day 3: The highlight of my day was hunting for food with a sharpened stick. I managed to catch a squirrel, but then I felt guilty for ending its carbon-based existence. I let it go and went back to foraging for leaves and twigs. Gourmet dining at its finest.

Day 4: Sleep has become a luxury. My cozy carbon-free cave provides little protection against the elements, and I woke up shivering in the middle of the night. Who needs warmth, right? I’ll just tough it out.

Day 5: I’ve become quite the eco-warrior. I’m now convinced that even the air I breathe has too much carbon. I’ve constructed a makeshift mask out of leaves and mud, just to be on the safe side. Breathing has never been so inconvenient.

Day 6: I’ve received an eviction notice from my cave’s previous owner, a rather irritated bear. Apparently, bears don’t appreciate squatters who insist on carbon-free living. So, I’m on the move again, looking for a new carbon-free home.

Day 7: As I sit under the open sky, shivering, hungry, and surrounded by nature’s wonders, I can’t help but wonder if this carbon-free detox has been worth it. I mean, who needs all the comforts and conveniences of modern life? I’ve learned that the true meaning of existence lies in avoiding carbon at all costs. It’s been an eye-opening experience, and I’m sure I’ll look back on this week with nothing but fond memories.

So there you have it, a week of living the carbon-free dream. Who knew life could be so fulfilling when you eliminate all that pesky carbon?